It could be said that the most frustrating part of any relationship happens when you think your partner is lying to you about something. In truth, the worst part is when you know they’re lying, but they won’t admit it.
I hope that all of you coupled-up folks out there are not having to deal with this but instead have evolved past the need for petty lies and are rejoicing happily in the bright, sunny fields of mutual respect, love and honesty.
It would be more accurate to say that in the real world our normally perfect and wonderful partners have a couple of drinks too many on occasion, and that makes them do stupid things like make out with strangers at a bar. To top it off, they lie to us about it. If you need a little help in figuring out whether or not your partner is lying or you’re just paranoid, keep reading.
1. He/She repeats what you said
Repeating what you say. It’s a tell tale sign that someone is not being quite honest when he or she repeats your question before giving an answer. It just gives them more time to make something up. You probably did this in school when the teacher asked you a question to which you didn’t know the answer. It’s a simple stall technique. If your sweetie plays this copy cat game, you need to dig deeper.
2. It’s all in the eyes
Eyes are the biggest giveaways when it comes to carrying off a lie. Being untruthful makes you anxious and avoidant, meaning you’re always less likely to look the person you’re talking to in the eyes when you’re trying to feed them a fallacy. Wise folks should also know that if your lover is all shifty-eyed and you’re pretty sure they’re full of it, check out their pupils: they’re more likely to be dilated if they are spinning lies.
Here’s the dumbest thing ever: your boyfriend was out all night and you have it on good information that was up to no good. When asked about it, this must-think-I’m-an-idiot jerk changes his story, even just slightly, every time he goes over it again. I’m sorry but even if I’m stressed because I think my significant other doesn’t believe me, or suspects me of something I know I haven’t done, there’s no way I’m going to just forget the truth.
In fact, if someone is being honest, they are much more likely to really hammer in the same facts, over and over, in an attempt to make you understand. If his/her account of what did or didn’t happen is turning into a shape-shifting story, it could very well be made up.
4. He/She becomes overly defensive
This one is all in how you approach it. If you go in with guns blazing (it’s a metaphor!) you’ll get an overly defensive reply which would make anyone look guilty. However, if your tone is reasonable and your partner is too defensive, he or she has something to hide. Using overly convincing language goes hand in hand with being too defensive. If you get both, there’s more there than meets the eye.